Bright Eyes

I dreamed a dream of happiness last night

Sitting and rocking with you in my arms

Smiles and Coos coming from your lips

Bright eyes, soft skin

Tiny fingers grasping my thumb

——

For that sweet moment I was me

I was grandma holding you

I felt the way I used to be

Alive and joyful in my soul

—–

But when I woke and looked around

I saw that it was just a dream

Still searching for you in the night

But found myself alone again

Down the Rabbit Hole

My mind explodes in furious flying colorless specks of nothing

Spinning whirling swirling falling calling for an answer

Alice down the rabbit hole comes to mind

I grab the darkness and touch the emptiness around me as I fall

I call out as people pass above me on their way to something more

But no one stops although they hear me

“Let’s get on with things” they say

“Shall we help” they ask

“Someone else will come along” they all conclude

Falling screaming wanting needing losing sight of light

Helpless hopeless endless movement around and down’s my plight

Further from who I was, who I want to be

Further from who I am inside and my possibilities

Unable to reach the end and always falling

Alive and Still Kicking

Madness, Memories, and Miracles. These are the things that have formed my thinking and caused me to be who I am. But as I start this blog, sort of a diary about who I’ve become and am becoming, I wonder if that is true. I hope this blog will open my eyes and heart to insights I’ve missed along my life’s journey. I hope that this blog will help me and those that may read these words, to know me. And so, I begin to write the words, express the feelings, and include current meanderings, as my thoughts strain to cope with and grasp what is going on inside and outside of me. In the following blogs, you will find strange ideas and desperate poems, memories tainted by time, and miracles that have kept me alive and still kicking. I invite the reader to be the judge of which is which. I invite the reader to think about their own madness, memories and miracles. I invite the reader to get to know themselves and me.