Bright Eyes

I dreamed a dream of happiness last night

Sitting and rocking with you in my arms

Smiles and Coos coming from your lips

Bright eyes, soft skin

Tiny fingers grasping my thumb

——

For that sweet moment I was me

I was grandma holding you

I felt the way I used to be

Alive and joyful in my soul

—–

But when I woke and looked around

I saw that it was just a dream

Still searching for you in the night

But found myself alone again

JA  

Startled

Startled, I woke up! Wondering what was wrong.

Jumping up I ran to the door and opened it

Outside was the same

I checked the messages on my phone, nothing new

I looked for an answer but there was none

I knocked on your door and you did not open

I walked in and words escaped

Answers came but the deed was done

Fear had won again and sleep was evaded for awhile

______________________________________

Crying, I woke up!  Darkness filled me

I sat on the edge of my bed

Inside thoughts swirled

I could not stop them though I tried

No answers came just phantom fear

I opened my door and no one was there

Crushing truth was all around 

It entered the room and then I knew

It was done and I was left with only me

JA

Recluse

Recluse

Time Passes

I’m becoming a Recluse

I no longer look for others

I no longer want to see friends

Or spend time with grown children

I am alone and have become accustomed to that

I am alone and like it that way now

I used to cry and beat my hands against the table

And call out for them all

I told them it was happening

I told them I was suffering

But no one came

And no one cared enough

And I went on

To find I’d become a different me

Alone and wanting it that way

Alone and living as a Recluse

Searching

Silently seeking shelter

Quietly I crawl

Becoming Invisible to those around

Seeking comfort

Looking for warmth

Hiding in the shadows

Moving slowly

Fitting myself

Under Tables and chairs

In closets

In trunks

In tiny spaces

Searching for a feeling

A feeling of safety

A feeling of love

Wanting touch

Wanting voices

Wanting to be known

Pausing

To all readers, viewers, commenters, and those that clicked on likes.

Thank you for taking the time to read and encourage me in my writing. 

Personal circumstances cause me to temporarily pause in this work. 

I hope to be able to begin again soon.

Until I do, know that I have appreciated any encouragement you’ve offered and enjoyed reading your writing too.

I look forward in the future to reading more great writing blogs from all of the talented bloggers that use this site, and adding a few more of my own.

JA

Simple Pleasure

I’m not mad

I’m grieving a simple loss for a simple me

Because what I like are simple things

—-

One of those things was sitting in my comfortable chair

Quietly watching the gulls, and waiting for a friend to talk to

Or happy just to sit by myself and look out at the sea

—-

But now, I’ve had to move and that simple pleasure is gone

A simple nothing to you

But my loss is a loss of a peaceful feeling

—-

What difference does it make? Not much

It’s only me,

Missing what used to be one of my simple pleasures.

JA

Truth Revealed

I knew he was for me when our eyes met and he didn’t judge me

And so—I let him pursue my time and grew to love him

Time was tender and well spent then

It was later that I learned the truth

That even the first words that came from his mouth were lies

I couldn’t read him, and the hidden meaning of his words

Finally they escaped and revealed their truth

And I learned about his dark past and how I would pay for it

But by then, I had been tricked and frozen in place with fallacy

And it was too late for my committed soul

JA

Today was a good day

Today was a good day

I had some things to do

Today was a good day

But it was without you

—-

I woke in the morning

I dressed and brushed my hair

I woke in the morning

And then I went somewhere

—–

My friends they were smiling

As we began to talk

My friends they were smiling

And then we took a walk

—-

Today was a good day

I didn’t feel depressed

Today was a good day

And now it’s time to rest

JA